Dear G-Spot is New York Times bestselling author Zane's long-awaited guide to what she knows better than anyone else: love and sex.
Dear G-Spot includes real letters from real people, both women and men, who have sought Zane's advice over the years -- the preacher's wife worrying about being judged, the virgin, the guy next door, the gay man next door, the woman with low self-esteem, and the other woman with a sex drive over the moon.
In her own uniquely can-did and humorous way, Zane answers all your questions -- even questions you never thought to ask -- about making whoopee.
The hugely popular erotica author Zane gets right to the point: This is a book about fucking. This is a book about love, she warns in the aggressively defensive introduction (Do not start protests at your local library to ban me from the shelves) to this collection of letters she has received from the lost and confused in need of sexual advice. The chapters in her first nonfiction book are grouped around such useful topics as virginity/young love, sexual addiction, oral sex, dissatisfied lovers/lack of sex drive and how to make love to a woman. Zane writes with grim humor and uses explicit, slangy language that obviously resonates with her audience of younger, sexually active women. She encourages wild, no-holes-barred sex, but presents hot, monogamous unions as her goal. Dump him and find a man to respect you is her response to the women who complain of being exploited or cheated on by their lovers. Despite the out-there language, Zane's advice is sympathetic and sensitive on every area of sexual confusion and difficulty. (July)Correction: The pub month for Norman Pearlstine's Off the Record (Reviews, Apr. 30) is June.
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July 10, 2007
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Excerpt from Zane's Dear G-Spot by Zane
Chapter One: Sexual Addiction
Sexual addiction is a topic very near and dear to my heart. When I first decided to write my novel Addicted, nearly nine years ago, it started out as a short story. At first, I was simply going to write a quick sexcapade about a woman screwing three people other than her husband. But the Zoe character fascinated me. I put the short story aside and decided it would be my first full-length novel. I wanted to study and find out what caused sexual addiction and not merely concentrate on her being a freak. I wanted to open the floodgates, so to speak, on why women cheat and the underlying causes of cheating. I also wanted to explore the difference between a nymphomaniac and an addict.
At the time, I had a male friend who confided in me that he slept with numerous married women. He knew that I was writing erotica, had read a few stories that set his boxers on fire, and wanted my opinion. He asked why women would be willing to do explicit things with him that they were not willing to do with their husbands. I did not hesitate when I answered, because it was obvious to me. They did it with him because they did not fear being judged by him, nor did they care what he thought. Their husbands and serious mates were there at home with them, the fathers of their kids, and men who could hurt their feelings if their sexual behavior was taken out of context.
I want to share a brief, real-life sex experience that someone recently emailed to me. Then I am going to ask you a question afterward.
I realize you must receive a ton of emails from people who believe that their lives portray parts of your books. Well, here is another one. Addicted is exactly like my life. I married my childhood sweetheart, had two wonderful kids, and I am cheating. Unlike Zoe and Jason, my husband and I live paycheck to paycheck. So do my three lovers -- two men and one woman. They have all fallen in love with my sex, and even though they knew from the onset that I was married, none of them want to share me with my husband. I made it clear that I was only seeking sexcapades with them. Only one of them truly knows me in the respect that I share my heart, my thoughts, my truth, and my lies with him. My husband loves me more than Jason could ever love Zoe, but I do have a sexual addiction. The sex is not good, but I am all that he knows because I was his first. Sex is too predictable for me when I have to instruct a man on what to do. That is my only reason for cheating on him. Other than that, I am fine, he is fine, and our lives are fine. Can you suggest anything? Possibly a sex therapist for us both or something?
You need therapy in the worst way, but I would hold off on pulling your husband into it unless you plan to tell him about your three other lovers. Like Zoe, you are playing a very dangerous game. Any law enforcement official will tell you that the most treacherous scenario for them to enter into is a domestic one. Emotions run high; no one is thinking clearly, and that entire "If I can't have you, no one will" mentality often kicks in. You say all three of your extra lovers are sprung. You need to get them the hell unsprung and leave them all alone. I do believe you have an addiction and it will not be easy for you to walk away. That is why you must get help. Even though funds are tight, does either one of your jobs offer mental health counseling? Most group health insurance policies do offer it, with limitations. Check into that, and if that does not pan out, research your local agencies. You cannot give up on your quest to get help.
While you may not want to instruct your husband because of the sex ending up predictable, you have to do what you have to do to make things work.