A Complaint Free World : How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted
Chapter 1 I Complain Therefore I Am Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. -Lily Tomlin Complain: (verb) 1: to express grief, pain, or discontent 2: to make a formal accusation or charge -The Merriam-Webster Dictionary There are four stages to become competent at anything. In becoming a Complaint Free person, you will go through each of them and, sorry, you can't skip steps. You can't jump over them and effect lasting change. Some of the stages last longer than others. Everyone's experience with them varies. You might soar through one stage and then become stuck in another for a long time, but if you stay with it you will master this skill. VOICES Like most of the other folks who took up the Complaint free challenge, I quickly discovered exactly how many of the words I spoke in daily interactions were complaints. For the first time, I really heard myself when I vented about work, whined about my aches and pains, bemoaned political and world issues, and complained about the weather. What a shock to realize how many of my words held negative energy-and I considered myself such a positive person! -Marty Pointer, Kansas City, MO The four stages to competency are: 1. Unconscious Incompetence 2. Conscious Incompetence 3. Conscious Competence 4. Unconscious Competence In "On a Distant Prospect of Eton College," Thomas Gray gave us the saying "ignorance is bliss." As you become a Complaint Free person, you begin in the bliss of ignorance, move through the turmoil of transformation, and arrive at true bliss. Right now, you are in the Unconscious Incompetence stage. You are unconscious about your being incompetent. You don't realize (are unconscious) as to how much you complain (are incompetent). Unconscious Incompetence is as much a state of being as a stage of competency. This is where we all begin. In Unconscious Incompetence you are pure potential, ready to create great things for yourself. There are exciting new vistas about to be explored. All you have to do is be willing to go through the remaining steps. Many people are an "ouch!" looking for a hurt. If you cry "ouch," the hurt will show up. If you complain, you'll receive more to complain about. It's the Law of Attraction in action. As you complete these stages, as you leave complaining behind, as you are no longer an "ouch" looking for a hurt, your life will unfold for you like a beautiful spring flower. One of the questions I'm often asked is "Can I never complain…ever!?" To which I answer, "Of course you can complain." I say this for two reasons: 1. I'm not out to tell you or anyone else what to do. If I were, I'd be trying to change you, and that means I'm focusing on something about you I don't like. I'd be expressing discontent about you and, by inference, complaining. So you can do whatever you want. It's your choice. 2. Sometimes it makes sense to complain. Now, before you feel you've found your loophole in number 2 above, consider that word "sometimes" and remember that I and many, many people have gone three consecutive weeks-that's 21 days, or 504 hours in a row-without complaining at all. No complaints, zero, I Complain Therefore I Am 25 zip! When it comes to complaining, "sometimes" means "not very often at all." Complaining should happen infrequently; criticism and gossip, never. If we are honest with ourselves, life events that lead us to legitimately complain (express grief, pain, or discontent) are exceedingly rare. Most of the complaining we do is just a lot of "ear pollution" detrimental to
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Three Rivers Press
February 05, 2013
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