Every Young Woman's Battle : Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World
Guys Aren't the Only Ones Fighting a Battle for Purity.
The world you live in promotes sex as the answer to just about everything. The pressure to go along with the crowd is greater than ever before, and it's easy to compromise in little ways that are a lot more harmful than they seem. You and your friends may become caught up in destructive relationships or sexual activities without even knowing how you got there. You just want to be normal-to fit in, to be liked, to look attractive to the opposite sex. But are you paying too high a price?
This counterpart to the award-winning Every Young Man's Battle can help you:
* learn how the sexual battle begins in your heart and mind
* understand your hunger for attention from guys
* recognize and avoid the potential pitfalls awaiting young women on the journey toward adulthood and possibly marriage
* find out how the media, novels, fashion, internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence your sexual choices-and what you can do about it
* guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise
* develop a deeper, more satisfying level of intimacy with God
Whether you have so far protected yourself emotionally and sexually, feel that you've been robbed of your purity, or have given in to temptation in some way, this book can help you achieve or reclaim sexual integrity. It can also guide you through the temptations and pressures of young adulthood while demonstrating how you can live your life to the fullest-without regrets.
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July 19, 2004
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Excerpt from Every Young Woman's Battle by Stephen Arterburn
In Every Young Woman's Battle, we discuss sexual purity from emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical perspectives, teaching readers to guard their minds, hearts, and bodies in this sex-saturated world. We do so using very frank, contemporary language, writing especially for young women in their teens to early twenties.
Perhaps you are wondering how frank we've been or if this book is appropriate for your daughter at this point in her life. If she regularly watches television, listens to pop music, or reads teen magazines, nothing in this book will be too graphic or shocking for her. Our goal is to present a credible, helpful, Christian perspective on the images your daughter is exposed to every day.
If, on the other hand, you believe she is already committed to sexual purity, or you fear that a frank discussion on the topic may be inappropriate for her, we encourage you to review Every Young Woman's Battle before passing it on to your daughter. We have made every effort to address sensitive issues with tact and respect, emphasizing God's desire that young women live with sexual integrity. Our commitment to helping young women requires us to be honest and open with them, and we hope that our doing so will pave the way for your daughter to make many healthy choices about her sexuality.
daring to be truthful
If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. -- John 8:31-32
Truth or dare. You've probably played this game with girlfriends at a slumber party or perhaps been warned by your parents not to play it at all. It's a game where you agree to do anything another player dares you to do, regardless of how embarrassing or disgusting it may be, or else to tell the absolute truth in response to a particular question, regardless of how private or humiliating your answer may be.
As a young girl, I never opted out of playing such games. It never even occurred to me I had a choice. My friends dared me to do some ridiculous things-eat a ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise sandwich; drink a Dr. Pepper as fast as possible and then burp as loudly as I could in front of my friend's older brother; and passionately kiss my stuffed monkey while my friend took a Polaroid picture. But I usually took the dare because I didn't want to answer questions such as these: Who do you think is the cutest boy in school? How many boys have you kissed? How far have you ever gone with a boy? Eating something gross or making an idiot out of myself was easy compared to telling the truth about certain things.
Sometimes the truth hurts, and it's much easier if we can keep it hidden. As a matter of fact, sometimes the secrets we harbor are so painful that we don't want to face them ourselves. We assume that these secrets will go away if we don't think or talk about them with anyone. But the opposite is true. Shameful secrets fester like a splinter in a finger, and it's much better to name the secret and to let someone help us remove it from our lives so the wound will heal.
You will read many stories in this book from young women (ages twelve to twenty) who have courageously done just that. They've dared to tell the truth about their battle to guard their minds, hearts, and bodies from sexual sin. We hope that you will learn some lessons the easy way and avoid making mistakes of your own, or that you will recognize the truth about any struggles you are currently facing in your battle for sexual purity and understand how you can overcome them.
IGNORANCE IS NOT A VIRTUE
You may find some of the stories in this book eyeopening or surprising. Please know that we are not trying to shock, disgust, or defile* you in any way. We want you to be wise to the ways of the world so you can guard yourself against them. Ignorance is not a spiritual gift, nor is it a virtue. You can be wise and innocent at the same time, and we intend to prepare you to make responsible decisions if and when temptations come across your path. Also, don't assume that the temptations we'll be discussing won't come to call in your life. The apostle Paul wrote:
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!...
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled.... Do not
conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But
just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written:
"Be holy, because I am holy."... Among you there must not be even a
hint of sexual immorality." (1 Corinthians 10:12; 1 Peter 1:13-16;
Let's peek into the private lives of some of your peers who were brave enough to tell the truth about their battles for sexual purity.