Take the Bully by the Horns : Stop Unethical, Uncooperative, or Unpleasant People from Running and Ruining Your Life
How often have you wished you knew how to defuse the difficult people who wreak havoc on your life Whether it's a neighbor who keeps disturbing your peace, an employer who manipulates you into unpaid overtime, a spouse who criticizes and controls your every move, a colleague who uses scare tactics to intimidate you, or a student who teases your child without mercy, Take the Bully by the Horns will give you real-life strategies stop people from taking advantage of you, including how to: * Adopt a "don't you dare" attitude * Refuse to play The Blame-Shame Game * Beat em to the punch...line * Stop paying the price of nice * Put all kidding aside * Act on your anger instead of suffering in silence * Savior Self from martyrs and guilt-mongers * Not be victimized by crazy-making Jekyll/Hyde personalities * Adopt the Clarity Rules and Rights With these tools, you can take back your peace of mind and your sanity.
The subtitle of Horn's treatise indicates just how much psychological ground he manages to cover in this encouraging how-to. Not just for kids on the playground anymore, bullying can have serious consequences for adults: violence, lawsuits, abuse and even death. Many of the "28 Ways to Lose Your Bully" strategies Horn (Tongue Fu) outlines are common sense, the same advice parents might give children after a rough recess: "Put Up a Brave Front," "Get Out of My Space," "Screw Up Your Courage." The number of mini-quizzes and aphoristic sayings make the book read like a large-scale PowerPoint presentation (not surprising, as Horn is a veteran of the corporate seminar circuit). Yet there's a realism here that is convincing: Horn's example situations include spouses who hit or cheat, spouses' bosses who grope, coaches who berate, false friends who cajole confidences, business partners who steal, neighbors who instill fear and people who chronically hit up family members for bail money (or "deja moo"). Role playing "Action Plans" for conversation help firm up psychic independence and avoid pointless, draining argument. (Sept.) Copyright 2003 Cahners Business Information. -- PUBLISHERS WEEKLY.
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St. Martin's Press
September 08, 2003
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Excerpt from Take the Bully by the Horns by Sam Horn
DO YOU WORK OR LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO DELIGHTS IN making your life difficult? Does this person cut you down and then claim s/he was "just kidding"? Do you have to "talk on eggshells" around this individual because you never know what might trigger a tirade? Does s/he make you wrong so s/he can be right? Are you happier when you're not around this person?
Welcome to the bully club. This book is dedicated to people who are being or have been targeted by a bully. I hope it provides you with the confidence, clarity, and communication skills to stop bullies from compromising the quality of your life.
All the World's a Rage
The world's a stage, and most of us are woefully unrehearsed.
-- SEAN O'CASEY
Bullying has become such a pervasive problem that you can't watch TV, listen to the radio, or read a newspaper without seeing or hearing yet another troubling report about the "bully epidemic." A 2001 USA Today column entitled "Where Have Our Manners Gone?" reported that 89 percent of Americans feel that civility has reached a new low.
Tell us something we don't know. Crowded living and working conditions have made people even more impatient and impolite. Verbal violence (going postal, shock jocks, hostile takeovers, road rage) is all around us. Kids on TV sitcoms curse their parents and vice versa, and we don't even blink. Game shows feature hosts who ridicule contestants -- for example, "Is there no beginning to your intelligence?" -- much to the laugh-out-loud delight of their approving audience.