The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you?3. Use your head: cut off theirs.4. Blades don't need reloading.5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don't be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset-life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.
october zombie round up
In this outrageous parody of a survival guide, Saturday Night Live staff writer Brooks prepares humanity for its eventual battle with zombies. One would expect the son of Mel Brooks to have a genetic predisposition to humor, and indeed, he does, and he exhibits it relentlessly here: he outlines virtually every possible zombie-human encounter, drafts detailed plans for defense and attack and outlines past recorded attacks dating from 60,000 B.C. to 2002. In planning for that catastrophic day when "the dead rise," Brooks urges readers to get to know themselves, their bodies, their weaponry, their surroundings and, just in case, their escape routes. Some of the book's more amusing aspects are the laughable analyses Brooks proposes on all aspects of zombiehood, and the specificity with which he enumerates the necessary actions for survival-i.e., a member of an anti-zombie team must be sure to have with him at all times two emergency flares, a signaling mirror, daily rations, a personal mess kit and two pairs of socks. Comic, though unnecessarily exhaustive, this is a good bet for Halloween gag gifts and fans of Bored of the Rings-esque humor. 100 line drawings. (Sept.) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information. -- PUBLISHERS WEEKLY.
Showing 1-3 of the 3 most recent reviews
1 . Horrible
Posted February 12, 2011 by Dissapointed Reader , RockfordI thought this would be a campy fun read. Unfortunatley I was completeley wrong. The book is supposed to tell you how to survive a zombie attack. I did not laugh chuckle or even feel amused at any time reading the book. It is very dry and reads like a text book. Save yourself the money and dont bother with it.
2 . Wow! This book kind of makes you think...
Posted March 31, 2010 by Larry B , Richmond, VAThis is very well written book about how to survive a zombie outbreak with a lot of detail relating to equipment, weapons, combat, group organization, preparation, climate and terrain. After reading the book, I promise you, you will be prepared for an outbreak! The level of detail makes me wander if Mr Brooks knows something his readers don't. I know that comment has been stated before, but after reading it, I get that same feeling. Finally, there is a great section on the "known" history of zombie outbreaks - again, well written and very believable. Well done!
3 . "Organize Before They Rise!"
Posted June 18, 2009 by Daniel Small , Powellthis book is a survival book oh how to survive a zombie attack.
Max Brooks narrows every last detail from what weapon you should use to where is the best place to hide.
its extremely funny and scary at the same time. its funny because on how he narrows everything down to every last small detail about zombies and zombies are not even real of course. its scary becasue he narrows it down so well you start to really believe that there were/are zombies. he even uses points in history and fits in zombie attacks.
i couldn't put this book down until the very end.
I'm ready for the zombie attack! read this book then you will be too!
December 31, 2002
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Excerpt from The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
THE UNDEAD: MYTHS AND REALITIES
He comes from the grave, his body a home of worms and filth. No life in his eyes, no warmth of his skin, no beating of his breast. His soul, as empty and dark as the night sky. He laughs at the blade, spits at the arrow, for they will not harm his flesh. For eternity, he will walk the earth, smelling the sweet blood of the living, feasting upon the bones of the damned. Beware, for he is the living dead.
-Obscure Hindu text, circa 1000 B.C.E.
ZOM-BIE: n. also ZOM-BIES pl. 1. An animated corpse that feeds on living human flesh. 2. A voodoo spell that raises the dead. 3. A Voodoo snake god. 4. One who moves or acts in a daze "like a zombie." [a word of West African origin]
What is a zombie How are they created What are their strengths and weaknesses What are their needs, their desires Why are they hostile to humanity Before discussing any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive.
We must begin by separating fact from fiction. The walking dead are neither a work of "black magic" nor any other supernatural force. Their origin stems from a virus known as Solanum, a Latin word used by Jan Vanderhaven, who first "discovered" the disease.
SOLANUM: THE VIRUS
Solanum works by traveling through the bloodstream, from the initial point of entry to the brain. Through means not yet fully understood, the virus uses the cells of the frontal lobe for replication, destroying them in the process. During this period, all bodily functions cease. By stopping the heart, the infected subject is rendered "dead." The brain, however, remains alive but dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new organ. The most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this all-important resource, the undead brain can utilize, but is in no way dependent upon, the complex support mechanism of the human body. Once mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form that bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original corpse. Some bodily functions remain constant, others operate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely. This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead.