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Together Forever : The Gay Man's Guide to Lifelong Love
A loving, lasting, committed relationship
One of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor busts the myths that exist in the gay community about relationships and gives gay men a model for healthy, happy marriages (legal or not).
-Why the fate of your relationship is more important than the health and well-being of your sofa
-Why you should choose commitment and work to make the relationship strong
-How to have good, plenty, and forever sex
-The secrets of keeping your man, your friends and your family happy (even "difficult" loved ones)
-Ways to avoid damage to your relationship from third parties that don't have your best interests at heart
"Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books. You'll learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself--without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership."
--Raeleen D'Agostino Mautner, PhD,
author of Living la Dolce Vita
Dr. Martin Kantor is a psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues. He is the author of My Guy. He lives with his partner of 22 years in New Jersey.
As the debate over gay marriage continues, Kantor's book offers solid couples counseling advice to gay men in committed relationships who may be headed for the divorce courts before they are even legally open to them. A psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues and in a relationship himself for more than 22 years with the same man, Kantor assesses singeldom as a sorry state and coupledom as the greatest thing possible: "My book seriously pushes Donna Reed over Sex and the City," he writes, and he is true to his word, extolling the virtues of self-sacrifice over individualism and maintaining the relationship at all costs. However, coupledom is no bed of roses and to keep it feasible involves hard work; Kantor identifies nine relationship danger zones-boredom and restlessness, sexual problems, anger, fear of closeness and commitment, self-absorption, being uptight, getting paranoid, excessive dependency and excessive competitiveness-and devotes a chapter to each. A self-test in each chapter helps readers decide if this area is their relationship's danger zone, followed by examples from his experiences and concluding with ways to work through these dicey problems. For readers not in a committed relationship, the book's emphasis will annoy and be of little use. Fear not, try Kantor's previous book, My Guy, about meeting Mr. Right, then turn to this one if things start to sour. Copyright Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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October 31, 2005
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