"I was sitting on the kitchen floor, heaving in sobs, and all I could think was: 'This can't possibly be me.'" In a candid account, Marie Osmond, beloved actress, singing star, and television personality, discloses her heartwrenching battle with postpartum depression and the private pain behind her public persona. Sinking fast into numbing despair after the birth of her last baby, Marie Osmond joined the thousands of women each year who suffer from an illness not often discussed openly. Now she tells her inspiring story...
Behind the Smile
At age thirty-nine, known for her signature smile and upbeat attitude, Marie Osmond was living what seemed to be the picture-perfect life. She was beautiful, talented, happily married, co-hosting the successful Donny and Marie Show, and pregnant with her seventh child. What could go wrong-so wrong that it would send her on a tearful flight away from her home and make national headlines?
What went wrong was postpartum depression (PPD). Behind the Smile bravely and honesty reveals Marie Osmond's difficult road back from PPD and speaks out for other women who have experienced PPD's debilitating effects. Writing in her wonderfully vivacious voice-and sharing sixteen pages of private family photos-Marie describes her childhood in the famous Osmond family, her own career, and the births and adoptions of her beloved children. For the first time, she unveils her closely guarded home life to reach out to other women who are struggling.
But in Behind the Smile, Marie does more than tell a personal story of courage and triumph. Along with Dr. Judith Moore, who helped diagnose and treat her problem, she includes real help for women suffering from PPD. Readers will learn about the tests for PPD, where to find medical treatment, and what safe, natural therapies and diet guidelines can help rebalance the body's hormones. By sharing her healing journey and inspirational words, Marie Osmond gives others hope. By including Dr. Moore's wise advice, she provides a shining path for them to begin the journey too.
"I knew I had to leave until I could come to terms with what was happening to me.
"I couldn't let my children continue to see me this way.
"I walked down the stairs and put my precious newborn baby into the nanny's arms. I put three blank checks and my credit cards in her hand, saying, 'Please understand that I couldn't do this if I didn't have you here. I can't stay. There is something wrong, really wrong with me, and I have to leave until I figure it out. Brian is at this number. Call him. He'll come home.'
"I have no idea how my feet carried me to the car. I turned the key in the ignition, put the car in reverse, and backed down the driveway. When I shifted the gears into drive, something overpowering moved inside of me, from the deepest part of my soul. My body was racked with hysterical crying, and I began to understand for the first time why a person would want to take her own life."
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Grand Central Publishing
April 30, 2002
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