Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?
Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.
This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:
Protect children and help them heal emotionally
Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
Increase their chances of winning custody
Help their kids feel good about themselves
Nearly three-quarters of women who are chronically mistreated by their partners have children. In this sensitive, respectful book, counselor, speaker, trainer and activist Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men) gives those women ways to help their children heal from the pain of seeing such abuse. Using anecdotes, Q&As, bulleted "points to remember" and a caring but firm tone, Bancroft tells abused mothers exactly what actions they should take to help their children. Don't blame children (or yourself), he says, and let children know it's good to talk about the verbal or physical abuse they've been exposed to. Bancroft coaches moms to tell their children abuse is wrong, but warns them not to criticize the abuser as a person if he is a father-figure to the children. Bancroft's important book addresses peripheral issues, too, such as the effects of separation and divorce, and dealing with child protective services and the family court system.
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February 28, 2005
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