There are two sides to every story. "The Voices of Cellar's Bridge: Katherine's Hope" chronicles the first of two very different viewpoints about the same events. In this tale, Katherine Newton grows to lead an empire. Her choices drive her to Cellar's Bridge.
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Trained in the Gobi desert as a marine archaeologist, Laurena Cassiopeia Cooper, found fame as a best-selling author, popularly known as LC Cooper. Born in Conestoga, Chili, in 1967, her parents relocated the family to Easter Island soon after LC's birth. Work on the island's sheep farms was grueling, but at the tender age of five years old, LC was promoted to Chief Stall Cleaner. Recognized for her advanced skills, LC earned a full scholarship to study political science at Clown College in the United States.
LC squirted up the political ladder after publishing her in-depth analysis, "Kneepad Ergonomics." A runaway hit for politicos, its lessons were also absorbed by corporate suck-ups the world over. Capitalizing on "Kneepad Ergonomics'" success, its sequel "Jerk Today, Corporate CEO Tomorrow," is now required reading in most business schools.
In 2004, LC married her high-school sweetheart, Duggie Hooper, within days of his graduation. Although Duggie's parents were furious at LC for cradle robbing, a new home in Martha's Vineyard helped ease their pain and suffering. Twins, "Luke" and "Darth," were born to the Cooper-Hoopers three weeks later. The happy family recently acquired a Chihuahua for target practice and a grumpy antisocial cat named "Cuddles" to impress the press.
LC, an avid fan of women's ultimate frisbee, bought the world's only two teams last year. Attempting to fill seats in the teams' stadium, LC proposed that the women play topless. But when the fans booed, mistaking the players for pre-pubescent boys, LC got cold feet and traded the franchises for a bag of magic beans.
The power duo, LC and Duggie, went on to invent the most revolutionary consumer product since the Sham-WhoGivesACrap." "PooSol," combines the two aromatic scents commonly found in an occupied bathroom. One spray of PooSol's pungent potion and the curious will leave you to reading the Sunday paper undisturbed. Extra-strength "Runny PooSol" will have even those tap-dancing outside the bathroom door race off to find other outlets of relief. Sales of "PooSol" topped $10 million within one year of product launch, which provided the financial impetus for LC to return to politics.
Of late, LC won the Illinois senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, by a landslide "donation" of $42 million. She promises to reform Washington by "trowin' da bumz out;" a reference to the popular theme of holding incumbents accountable for the nation's woes. LC's campaign slogan, "Blah, blah, Blah...blah, BLAH, blah, blah," really doesn't matter 'cause no one believes all the hype that froths out of politicians' two-sided mouths.
Not willing to give up on her successful writing career, LC dumped her senatorial workload on her interns; priding herself on a stellar political track-record of never having voted on a meaningful bill or issue. LC's next book, "Chinese Sociopathic Democracy," will be a poignant satire about the system that allows a puppet of the People's Republic of China to become the president of the United States of America, and the wife of an international pushover to become his Secretary of State. Don't laugh, it's probably happened.
Wildly successful "Legacy," published in 2010, is LC's first foray into novel writing. "Cellar's Bridge," her highly anticipated second novel, is expected out later this year. With several more titles under development, the next twenty years should provide LC's fans with hours of pleasurable reading experiences.
To contact me, please send an email to: email@example.comTwitter name: @LC_CooperNEW feature!! You can get a personal inscription from me for each of my titles (only available for my novels) by visiting my page within Authorgraph at: http://www.authorgraph.com/authors/LC_CooperAbout me:Lady Chatterly Cooper, or LC Cooper as she became known, remains a Lady of the '80s. Pink high-tops (autographed by Rick Springfield) and checkerboard waffle Vans (a la "Fast Times at Ridgemont High") complement her ensemble of Jane Fonda leg warmers and Madonna junk jewelry. Because she's no longer perky and petite, parachute pants are a necessity and not a lingering fashion statement. She maintains her own sense of style and grace. Her daughters, Tiffany, Farah, and Demi, and her sons, Milli, Vanilli, and Bruce don't think so.Disenchanted that she wasn't "discovered" while a groupie for Culture Club, Wild West and Wham, LC set a course for self respect and began writing. Her first book was a biography about that lovely couple, Sean Penn and Madonna. Although the project tanked, LC caught the writing bug. Gone were the days of scrawling invitations on men's-room walls.LC hit the big time when Thunderbox Press published her kiss-and-tell exposé entitled, "Speedo Libido." Although some washed-up rockers found humor in it, ("Yeah, I shagged her," Rod Stewart supposedly said, "but who didn't I bang in the '80s?"), others, such as PeeWee Herman ("she was too old for me") and George Michael ("she doesn't even look like a dude") might have been offended. VH1 canned the TV series based on the book when a test audience preferred to see Ozzy flitting around his house in a dress instead of watching LC's aged, saggy boobs flop around in her red one-piece swimsuit in slow motion on camera.Once again trashed by the music industry, brokenhearted LC withdrew from the limelight and bought a secluded ranch in The Everglades. Not able to grow much in all that muck, the stinking goo inspired her second novel, "Stick in the Mud." This satire chronicled the price-fixing practices of the Recording Industry Association of Antarctica. Thumbing its nose at consumers, governments, and free-trade around the world, the RIAA fought to suppress "Stick in the Mud." Written from a male point-of-view, the book details how the RIAA takes the consumer up a dark and dirty path where no woman can go.These days, LC enjoys spending long weekends with her David Hasselhoff inflatables. Whenever her dolls are worn out, LC manages the writing careers of her six children. When that happens, they buy her more dolls.###
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October 31, 2010
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