To make herself feel better, Samantha started running through all the positive aspects of the situation. For example, being locked in a chocolate factory would make an excellent basis for a magazine story....But each time she glanced in Matt's direction, she felt a thrill of anxiety pass through her, and all thoughts of her documentary dissolved. No matter how she tried, it was going to be impossible to view this as a solely journalistic experience.
Can your sworn enemy become your romantic obsession? Keith Lowe, the wickedly witty author of Tunnel Vision, shows that it can happen in this enchanting story of a man and a woman who learn that love is indeed the least predictable flavor in life's box of chocolates.
Matt, the brilliant young marketing director of Trundel & Barr, one of the United States' leading confectioners, loves chocolate. To him it represents sensuousness and innocent joy; it is to be adored, worshipped, and exploited at every opportunity. For Samantha, however, chocolate represents something more sinister. Working on a TV documentary, she's discovered that the subject is not as sweet as she thought: While Western children cram their faces with candy bars, African children are working in horrendous conditions to produce them. Since Matt's company is one of the worst offenders, Sam soon decides it's her mission to expose it and, in the process, destroy Matt.
Then, by accident or fate, Sam and Matt find themselves locked in the extremely close quarters of the Trundel & Barr chocolate factory. As their repeated attempts to escape from the factory fail, they realize that they are stuck with each other -- and they are finally forced to take a good look at the real reasons why they find it so difficult to get along.
Both spirited and seductive, New Free Chocolate Sex is the perfect read for anyone who finds a smart romantic comedy to be the sweetest treat of all.
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March 01, 2006
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Excerpt from New Free Chocolate Sex by Keith Lowe
If the universe were made of chocolate, this is what it would look like. A limitless expanse of darkness. Stardust made from cocoa powder and the tiniest flakes of grated Ghirardelli. A firmament sparkling with a million individually foil-wrapped Hershey's Kisses. The whole of creation infused with the aroma of chocolate bars with ethereal names: Dove, Sky, Milky Way. Vast chocolate planets hanging in the chocolate sky: Jupiter with its giant red spot picked out in glac, cherries, Saturn with its rings made of brittle caramel, Venus built entirely from pure white chocolate. The asteroid belt filled with clairs and profiteroles. And in a sort of interstellar joke, Mars would be constructed entirely of Mars bars, the red planet rendered a light chocolate brown for all eternity.
The Earth itself would be the center of this universe. Its continents would be made of vast slabs of chocolate originating from exactly the places they represented. Mighty America would be built from Snickers and Hershey's bars, and Reese's peanut butter cups; Europe would be made of Kit Kats, and After Eights, and gianduia and huge blocks of Lindt and Godiva; Australia would be made of Top Decks. Africa, South America, and Asia would be built from cocoa beans--billions upon billions of them--raw, unprocessed, and glued together with millions of gallons of dark cane-sugar syrup.
Geographical features would be lovingly sculpted from the most appropriate materials. Toblerone triangles would form vast mountain ranges, tipped with white chocolate snow and forested with trees made from chocolate Pixy Sticks and Big Hunk bars. Rivers of chocolate liqueur would flow through boulders of Baci and Ferrero Rocher down to carved chocolate seashores, where oceans of Nutella would lap thick, viscous waves upon cocoa powder beaches. At the poles there would be icebergs and glaciers made from rich white chocolate ice cream. At the equator there would be volcanic springs giving forth geysers of hot drinking chocolate. It would be a beautiful world, rich and soft and sweet, lit by halogen lamps and saved from melting by a refrigerator deep within its core.