Can you keep the fires of passion burning?
Men and women have very different physical needs. But Dr. John Gray explains how both can make small but important adjustments in their attitudes, schedules, and techniques so that their partners are happy in the bedroom -- and outside of it.
Written with the understanding and unique insight that can come only from Dr. Gray, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom educate men and women on:
Advanced bedroom skills for great sex
The joys of quickies
Why couples are having less sex
Sexual anatomy and oral sex
How to keep the magic of romance alive
And much more
Gray follows up his bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus with this sex manual for the 1990s. Using the same "advanced" techniques presented in his earlier book, now transferred to the bedroom, he advises partners how to achieve sexual satisfaction without frustrating each other, how to rekindle and maintain sexual passion without resorting to affairs, how to talk about sexual needs without turning each other off and much more. For those in a rush to the bedroom, virtually every paragraph is recapitulated in boldface one-liners. Although some of the material is old news (women require more foreplay and affection than men), much is cutting-edge. For example, women don't always desire orgasm, and therefore "quickies" can be enjoyable for both parties. But sorely lacking here is a discussion of safe sex in the age of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. And despite the title, Gray here compares men to the sun and women to the moon rather than to Earth's planetary neighbors. $250,000 ad/promo; 500,000 first printing.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information. -- PUBLISHERS WEEKLY.
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January 29, 1997
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Excerpt from Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray
He wants sex. She wants romance. Sometimes it seems as if our partners are from different planets, as if he's from Mars and she's from Venus. In the bedroom, it is obvious that men and women are different, but we may not realize just how different we are. It is only through understanding and accepting our obvious and less obvious differences that we can achieve true intimacy and great sex.
Why Sex Is So Important
We're all aware that sex tends to be more important to men while romance is more important to women, but we generally don't understand why. Without a deeper understanding of this fundamental difference, women commonly underestimate the importance of sex for men and many times judge them as superficial for wanting only one thing.
A woman's judgments begin to soften when she discovers the real reasons that some men seem to want only sex. With a deeper understanding of our sexual differences based on our historical development and social conditioning, she can begin to understand why, for many men, sexual arousal is the key for helping them connect with and realize their loving feelings.
For many men, sexual arousal is the key forhelping them connect with and realize their loving feelings.
It is through sex that a man's heart opens, allowing him to experience both his loving feelings and his hunger for love as well. Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his needs for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex.
Sex allows a man to feel his needs for love, while receiving love helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex.
A man often misunderstands a woman's real need for romance and may feel instead that she is withholding sex. When he wants sex and she is not readily in the mood, he easily misunderstands and feels rejected. He does not instinctively realize that a woman generally needs to feel loved and romanced before she can feel her hunger for sex.
Just as a woman needs good communication with her partner to feel loved and loving, a man needs sex. Certainly, a man can feel loved in other ways, but the most powerful way a woman's love can touch his soul and open his heart is through great sex.
What Makes Sex Great
Ideally, for sex to be great there must be loving and supportive communication in the relationship. This is the first step. When communication works, all the bedroom skills in this book can be most easily applied.
If communication in a relationship is OK, hearing and using the ideas in this book will dramatically increase the passion and quality of sex. When sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship gets better. Through great sex, the man begins to feel more love, and, as a result, the woman starts getting the love she may have been missing. Automatically, communication and intimacy increase.
When sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship automatically gets better.
When a couple is experiencing relationship problems, sometimes, instead of focusing on the problems, taking a shortcut and creating great sex immediately reduces the problems and makes them easier to solve. To most effectively solve relationship problems and ensure lasting intimacy and better communication, I recommend that you read my other books, What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know and Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Sometimes, however, the most effective way to jumpstart a relationship is to first learn the bedroom skills for creating great sex.