From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like.
You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it.
Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego Wong returns with a sequel to the cult classic John Dies at the End. The 25-year-old John is very much alive in this book, less drunk than last we saw him (though not for lack of trying), and joined by David's loyal dog, Molly, and his freckle-faced, one-handed fiancee, Amy. Together they battle an infestation of spider-like monsters that lodge themselves in their victim's mouths, take control of their bodies, and wreak havoc on the town of "Undisclosed." Not all the monsters are as easy to spot as the "shambling meat" marauders, such as the man-shaped monster with skewered turkey appendages or the anus-gouging ground-tunneler they call Carlos. Shadow men appear, John hits the "Soy Sauce," his dangerous drug of choice, and even the government quarantine team led by David's court-ordered therapist might pose more of a threat than the zombie contagion (as infected humans prey on people, and can survive massive traumas, the group decides that "zombie" is the best term). This phantasmagoria of horror, humor--and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity--heralds the film adaptation of its predecessor; directed by Bubba Ho-Tep and Phantasm auteur Don Coscarelli, it premiered at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival. Agent: Scott Miller, Trident Media Group. (Oct.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
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Thomas Dunne Books
October 02, 2012
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