You're Not Who You Think You Are : A Breakthrough Guide to Discovering the Authentic You
Albert Clayton Gaulden -- internationally acclaimed author, speaker, and founder of the Sedona Intensive -- reveals step-by-step how you can live authentically and discover your true self.
A leader in the spiritual community, Albert Clayton Gaulden has helped thousands of clients achieve personal growth by harnessing their inner power. In You're Not Who You Think You Are, he uses the same techniques, insights, and exercises to guide readers to a place where they can uncover the obstacles that hinder their fulfillment and find answers to their deepest questions.
At a time when so many people are looking to the world around them for spiritual renewal, Gaulden focuses on looking within. In You're Not Who You Think You Are, Gaulden candidly discusses his own path to peace after years of struggling with alcoholism and includes power-ful, inspiring stories from clients who have used his self-healing methods.
For all those who are looking for a life filled with lasting joy, You're Not Who You Think You Are is a thoughtful, practical, and endlessly illuminating guide.
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December 01, 2008
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Excerpt from You're Not Who You Think You Are by Albert Clayton Gaulden
Reconnecting to the Light
There is a part of every person that is divine. In the bustle of our everyday lives, struggling with work, trying to create meaningful relationships with friends and family, we neglect the divine in us. We become distracted by temptations such as alcohol and drugs, obsessions with food or sex, and we misplace emphasis on what seems to be important. The buzz of the world around us can override the divine within.
There are times when the divine sneaks out into the open. Perhaps you've heard a little voice in your head advising you about what steps to take in your life. Or you've heard your "conscience" talking when you're debating the best action. Or when you reflect silently, alone, you feel a presence of someone, something, speaking out at you.
These are the moments when your High Self is trying to make an appearance through your overwhelmed thoughts.
As I said in the prologue, each of us is divided into three selves. The low self is ego -- the part of our self that mediates between the world and our natural human appetites for food, love, self-esteem, sexual gratification, intellectual stimulation, and companionship. Problems for many of us arise because the ego, while on a worthy mission, has no sense of proportion. It has a tendency to say things like, "You want a cookie? How about a whole box? Why stop at one glass of wine when you can drink every drop you can get your hands on?" Unleavened by our higher nature, ego lacks the moral and spiritual forces that add balance and proportion to our lives. Ego on its own will not acknowledge itself as part of the larger whole, which demands fairness, sharing, balance, harmony, and community. The ego can help you flourish in the world, but if you let it take hold of you, it can also sabotage.
The middle self is the open-minded, more reasonable side of us. It is the one capable of redemption from egocentric behavior through reeducation. The middle self is the bridge from darkness into light, from receiving for the self alone to receiving the light to share.
The High Self is God.
It's not the God of ancient tales where the clouds part and a bright bolt of lightning descends from the heavens. It's not a spirit or an entity that comes down and takes over your body and mind.
There are channelers who purport to communicate with entities. Simply put, an entity is a dead person who won't go where dead people are supposed to go. They hang around and oftentimes become troublesome for those of us still alive. J. Z. Knight, a medium who recently appeared in the film What the Bleep Do We Know?, claims that a five-million-year-old being whom she calls Ramtha speaks through her. Your High Self is not such a being. I am uncertain about channeling. Something about invoking spirit contact doesn't click with me. However, some people seem to be helped by it. I suggest you approach such communication with healthy skepticism.
But just because I think channelers are a questionable lot doesn't mean this stuff is not coming from somewhere.
The High Self is something simpler. God is, and always has been, inside of you. You simply haven't been able or ready to meet Him. In meditation, when your mind is still and the will is receptive, you can find your High Self. I found mine then, or, I should probably say, my High Self found me.
Encountering My High Self
One day, I slipped my favorite CD into the entertainment console as I lay on my bed to reflect on the day's activities. And then, as if guided by a breath coach, I began to breathe as I do when I am meditating: a repetition of deep, slow breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Soon my inhales and exhales became deeper and more rhythmic. My body felt weightless.
Oddly, within a few minutes my lips began to tingle and I struggled to catch my breath. I had the impression that someone was trying to speak through me. I have never been a believer in channelers, so fear caused me to wake up, which silenced whoever wanted to speak. I closed my eyes again and took several relaxing breaths. I let go completely and spiraled into darkness where there were intermittent flashes of bright light.
I focused on a white pyramid. Images of pyramids had first appeared in my daydreams when I was a boy. Now, a powerful and resonant male voice spoke.
Albert, why did it take you so long to talk with me?
"Oh, my God, who is this?" I lashed out.
I was startled awake and sat on the edge of the bed. Where was this voice coming from? I paced the room, swallowing large gulps of mineral water. For years I had heard that some of my friends communicated with dead people. I wanted nothing to do with an entity from the spirit world. Was that what this man was?
However, energy pulled me back to the bed. I lay down and slipped back into meditation.
Relax. Continue to breathe evenly and you will gradually let go of fear. I have been monitoring you. Your actions and thoughts indicate that you are ready to communicate with me mind to mind.
The clearest explanation I can give of this energy connection is that the communication was intuitive. I did not and still do not have out-loud conversations with this invisible guide. The odd thing is that instinctively I had always known there was a part of me that had never exposed itself. Although I would over time ask a million questions to validate him, I somehow instantly knew that this being has kept me alive and sane throughout my life. Through the years I have counseled a lot of clients who swear they have connected with someone "inside" who they could not talk about for fear of being labeled crazy.
I was not afraid, but I wanted proof of who had me under his spell. I instinctively knew he was scanning my intelligence. These thought impressions came to me with ease and authority.
I have been trying to talk to you for more than ten years.
"Why?" I asked.
You teach students that God is within. I am here to remind you that you're someone other than who you think you are. I am the microcosmic God. I am Paul, your High Self guide and teacher. When you reach the deepest level of consciousness I am that part of you who speaks. I am here to help you see things more clearly, as well as to confirm what you know and what more you have to remember.
If truth be told, all my life, at some level, I had been anticipating a connection -- a validation of everything I knew to be true for me. To be able to exchange ideas with and ask questions of a source like Paul made lifelong struggles with my identity worth every minute of the pain of separation and alienation from everybody in my life. To know that Paul was me and I was him satisfied my need not to give my power away and not to be controlled by any person or group, particularly by church dogma.
"A few minutes ago while I was in meditation I felt you were forcing yourself on me. I don't want anyone invading me against my free will," I said.
Because you were at such a deep level of consciousness, it seemed as if I were trying to talk through you. I am a part of you and will communicate only to you. You will decide what information you share with others.
"Are you an alien? Have you come to abduct me?" I asked.
Albert, I am not foreign to you and I have not come to take you away. I am the all-seeing, all-knowing part of you connected to the continuum of time. You and I are like spiritual twins.
Aha! Both in humor and in dead seriousness I have said that there were two Alberts. As Paul spoke to me, I did a gut check to see if I agreed with him. On all accounts, what he said rang true.
"Do you intend to dominate me with mind control?"
No. You have a mind of your own, which is controlled by what people think of you and what you must do to be accepted by others. You need to learn to be your own authority.
Paul explained that each person has his own High Self guide, but many people aren't prepared to hear Him or Her. When I asked Paul why he only spoke to me in meditation, he said that during my everyday life, I am too scattered to listen to guidance. But in meditation, when my mind is clear, I can more easily be counseled without conscious contact with him. He and I would be as one.
I would speak as Albert, but the source of the information would be Paul, my High Self. All of this rang true to me, even though I often felt my mind furtive and restless. Paul suggested I should change my ways if I wanted to be able to let my High Self guide me.
One question addressed a trust issue. "If you are an aspect of me and not a separate entity, why do you call yourself Paul?"
Assigning a name distinguishes who is speaking. You need to know whether it is your ego influencing you or your High Self that is talking. Until now you were never able to get out from under the influence of your ego long enough to hear me.
Anyone who wants to contact his High Self can. Advise students to sit quietly each day at a set time and call a name intuitively, as you did with me. Making an appointment at the same time each day increases the possibility of contact with one's soul whisperer.
Today you were afraid of me because I called your name. You never trusted that I would be able to communicate with you. You have lived in fear and distrust. I broke through the defense lines of your ego. Before, I intuitively influenced you without your conscious awareness.
Paul said that he is the God within me. He confirmed his presence throughout my life by recalling crises I had endured. When I was six years old, I fell twenty feet onto a gravel yard. My face was cut and scraped and I was unconscious for several minutes, but I had no broken bones.
I took that fall with you. And -- remember the car wreck in 1962?
Driving home to Alabama from Charleston Air Force Base with the top down on my brand new white MGB convertible, I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up just in time to swerve right into a ravine. The car hit nose-first, and I was thrown free into deep layers of freshly mown hay. I suffered a mild concussion, but again, no broken bones.
I nudged you before you hit the sixteen-wheeler head-on, guiding you to turn right onto a soft landing.
"How were you able to save my life when others die prematurely?" I asked.
Karma. It was not your time to die. Each person chooses when to be born and when to die.
The soul knows there is no death. The true self knows that the perfect place, the Upper World, is real. Life on Earth is an illusion. The regret one feels when he dies is that he never knew his authentic self and he did not understand the mysteries of life that are all around him.
Death is like going from one room to another. The hell that scared you as a boy is hell on Earth and not a dark, fiery place of condemnation for your sins or your disbelief in Jesus.
The Upper World is perfect-world consciousness, and the Lower World is chaotic. One needs to crack codes of unsolved mysteries to discover his authentic self, so as not to become attached to earthbound illusion.
The reason ancient schools of spiritual teachings used puzzles and riddles and had various levels of initiation was to ensure that only students who were able to transcend ego control were permitted into the schools. These were prerequisites to study and develop spiritually. The ego uses pleasures to entrap. God uses the spirit of the soul to free.
"How will I solve mysteries?" I asked.
Follow your stars.
Paul was confirming what I have been teaching for a long time. Everything you need to know and everywhere you need to go is in your birth chart.
"Paul, why don't I do what I am supposed to do?"
You are attached to material illusion and false perceptions. When you still your mind, you and I can communicate about who you are and what you need to do.
When you were drinking I urged you to take the tougher road back to God. Alcoholism allowed you to tear apart a life that was not working for you. The steps you were to take once sober would lead you to the real person you were born to be. The ego suggested you switch from hard liquor to wine, or that you needed a vacation. The ego never mentioned the name of God. God and forgiveness are anathema to the ego.
I was transfixed as Paul went on to describe the origin of Earth and mankind. Lucifer engaged in a power struggle with God. Angel souls left God and the Upper World -- and thus the Lower World, although controlled by the ego, was established as a school for remembering life's lessons, prerequisites for return to the Upper World. (I would come to call these two worlds "here" and "there.") Every deed and thought in contradiction to spiritual laws of the Upper World must be atoned for here on Earth. That part of me, spellbound by the ego, must free itself of the ego's false promises. I cannot access that knowledge of truth, love, beauty, and light as Albert, but I can as my High Self. When I meditate I can connect to the one-true-God-created soul I always was.
Every soul has a resonance with God. The divine frequency is reactivated initially by remembering what harmony and peace feel like. But the magnetism of the ego is strong; man is drawn back to the pleasure chest. Still, God is alive within every soul.
Paul also told me:
All of you on Earth work off karma from past lives by being in service to others. When a life ends, to have loved and to have served are the only attributes that matter.
The cosmic geometry aligns to support all who seek to go back to God. Watch the heavens and celestial movement. When Venus crosses the Sun in 2012, time as you know it will draw to a close. Configurations and signs of providential change are written in the sky maps.
When these planetary configurations happen, you must have made a choice to clear away blocks and barriers to your true identity, as you have satisfied conditions of karma from the seventy past lives that created it. All human beings live life after life after life.
I did not question Paul further about past lives. I knew intuitively that we have lived thousands of lives, in different galaxies and dimensions.
ENDINGS AND NEW BEGINNINGS
So I have a job to do. I needed to know more about my role on Earth. My High Self said I have satisfied the karmic conditions for this life, but each life has different issues that need to be worked on. For instance, someone who has been unfaithful to a spouse must be reborn to feel what it's like to be betrayed in marriage. That same person may have been charitable, loving and kind, studied to become educated, endured poverty with grace. He may have risen to great heights because past lives had put him or her on the path to become revered and respected, in charge in other areas of his life. Also, we must reincarnate to a subsequent life to correct our past misdoings because we create new karma from lifetime to lifetime as well as work off karma from past lives.
As karma is a priori, the still small voice of intuition will dialogue with each of us if we are aware and alert to karmic conditions. That voice will let us know when we are done with reform school on Earth. The cycles of rebirth do end. However, this place, here on Earth, is not reality -- this is the illusion that reality created for us to come back to refine the soul and to embrace forever who we really are. And to refine my soul, I needed to understand my purpose.
"What exactly is the assignment?" I asked Paul.
Your assignment is to break away from the ego's control by clearing past-life and present karma; to make amends for harm that you have done to others; to live better than you speak; and to live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. Past deeds have separated you from God and made you a slave to your ego. You have agreed to clear others with the lessons you find along your path. You have hidden your true identity to protect yourself. You're not who you think you are. And nothing is what it seems. You are of the light.
"Am I the only one to lead others to the light?"
No, Albert, you are not. Liken this to a roundup of souls who want to return home. I have made contact with you as others are becoming reconnected to their High Selves. You were eventually able to hear my contact and to respond. Others will hear their own guidance.
"What is the message?" I queried.
The end of the world of illusion is at hand. The world as it truly is will be made manifest. You must uncover your true self and help others to find their true selves. You are interrelated and interconnected. You will know one another by sound and by light.
I was riveted. Stone-still, I listened, and my heart raced.
There will be a homecoming of prodigals. Souls will come back spiritually balanced, having spent lifetimes looking for the other part of themselves in someone else.
For those who choose to clear, chaos will end. The conflicts that rage within will cease. Millions of souls are beginning to anticipate this event. The Lower World will be as the Upper World. It is said, "as above, so below."
"It is the end of the world," I whispered through parched lips.
No, it is the beginning of time. Ancient prophecies will give you a deeper understanding of the period of endings and new beginnings.
I don't believe in Armageddon. The world will not go up in smoke because of man's sins. But what was this coming spiritual revolution all about? Could it be that war in the Middle East will escalate beyond human comprehension? Would there be some divine intervention to end the war? Did this have to do with global warming? My mind was jabbering like a gaggle of geese. A countdown had begun, and I wanted to run.
Computer technology may be the Antichrist, because it sucks so many of us into pornography, gambling, and online trading. Young people obsess over chat rooms and online video games which feed their dark side. On the other hand, cyberspace is the fastest way to get information.
I turned on my laptop and searched for anything I could find about what lies ahead of us. If my intuition could conjure this stuff up, there had to be confirmation or negation somewhere.
I turned my inquiry to the Mayan calendar and the year 2012. Not your run-of-the-mill calendar, the Tzolkin, as the Mayan calendar is called, originated in at least the sixth century bce. It is reputed to be the most accurate date book in the world, due in part to its relative complexity; it uses cycles of 13 and 20, relating to the movement of Venus and other planets, and it incorporates twenty-two different subcalendars.
The Mayans approached prophecy by careful study of the periodicity of cycles, especially astronomical ones, and their connection to human events. For the layperson, astrology is an interpretation of what it means when planets are in certain configurations, forming geometric alignments with one another, and especially at critical times such as solar and lunar eclipses and at the equinoxes. We astrologers call astrology the art of interpreting astronomy.
Highlighting the significance of the year 2012 are thirty-two solar and lunar eclipses, looming large between September 2006 and November 28, 2012, and the transit of Pluto through the sign of Capricorn. Pluto transiting through Capricorn means that there will be a mass reconstruction in all areas of government, business, industry, and money markets. The complexion of changes will be conservative rather than radical.
A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes in front of the Sun, partially or completely blocking its light. During a lunar eclipse the Earth passes directly in front of the Moon, casting its shadow on the Moon's surface. Eclipses are always powerful benchmarks of change, and most of the time they disrupt and displace people from their familiar and ordinary flow of life. Did you ever read the biblical passage "it rains on the just and the unjust"? We are all affected by celestial phenomena, positively and negatively.
Some astrologers believe that eclipses have less effect on individuals than on aggregate entities -- cities and countries, for example, or Wall Street, or Christianity, Islam, or other religions. I disagree. I also disagree with those who track the stars and focus on the negative influences rather than the benefits from everything that happens to us. I have always said that there are no good or bad birth signs; it's what you do with the hand life deals you. When given challenges, do you fold your tent or try harder? Do you embrace change or fight modification to the death?
Under lunar eclipses, people often experience in their personal lives a sudden end to one pattern and the beginning of a new cycle. For example, they may change jobs, move to a new town, get married or divorced, or experience financial losses or gains. Financial markets that have been stagnant or negative might see a more positive economic trend. Movies that favored one genre, like action adventure, may give way to films with a more serious message. The same shift may occur for music and books. One of the major transitions that I see looming is a shift in mass consciousness from a religious to a spiritual orientation, especially when Pluto goes into Capricorn on November 28, 2008, and stays in the sign until March 23, 2023. Eclipses compound change over time, collectively, rather than stark and sudden changes.
Just as lunar eclipses are about endings, solar eclipses indicate beginnings. Three successive solar eclipses set the stage for World War I, and two intense solar eclipses preceded World War II. Just as an architect drafts precise drawings in designing a new building, eclipses are calibrated cosmically -- divine designs activate planetary configurations in relation to one another to set the stage for an event. In these instances, they were omens of war. The Korean conflict and the fighting in Vietnam started when the planet Mars was in the sign it ruled, Aries, exacerbated by solar eclipses.
The Mayans were gifted astrologers and astronomers who used the movement of the planets to predict the future. They possessed the knowledge to use what the movement of the stars was telling them -- which they have been able to do for centuries -- to come to the conclusion that on December 21, 2012, the Mayan calendar will end. Dr. Carl Johan Calleman, author of The Mayan Calendar (Garev, 2001) and The Mayan Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness (Bear and Co., 2004), writes that by his calculations the end of the Mayan calendar is to be October 28, 2011.