Dial M for Meat Loaf

Rose Hill, Minnesota

"How could you do something so . . . so hideous!" declared Cora Runbeck as she stood in her kitchen, gaz- ing at the walls. She was utterly amazed. No, not just amazed more like dumbfounded. Tugging angrily at her apron, she whirled around and nailed her husband with her eyes. "It's egg yolk, Kirby! How could you paint our kitchen walls egg yolk?"

Kirby, who had just come in with the afternoon mail, muttered something inaudible as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"For Pete's sake, speak up. You know I can't stand it when you mumble."

"I said the color's called Golden Sunrise. I like it. And you did, too. Before the damn cataract surgery," he added as he swiped a hand across his mouth.

Cora adjusted her hearing aid, then peered down at him with her hands on her hips. "Land sakes, Kirby Runbeck. When I get my left eye done, what other horrors am I going to discover around this place?"

"A body in the freezer," he said, snickering. He opened the water bill.

"What?"

"Just chill, Cora."

"Don't use that kind of language around me. This isn't NYPD Blue."

He rolled his eyes. "Do I get some lunch, or what? Maybe I should take my truck and go visit Mabel Bjornstaad. She's always more than happy to see me."

"You just do that, you old goat. Maybe you'll have a surprise waiting for you when you get home."

Cora was a no-nonsense kind of woman. Norwegian to the core. She'd grown up on a farm near Le Suer. By the time she was ten, she'd been baking the family bread, feeding chickens, milking cows, washing clothes, taking care of her three younger siblings, and nursing an ailing mother. That was the late thirties and times were tough. She understood work and she understood responsibility.

Kirby, on the other hand, was a lazy man. Always had been. And he was cheap. He probably got the paint on sale. Or free from one of his buddies. Now that her eye was getting better, she would have to examine the entire house. It had been a good two years since she'd been able to see well. If there were other problems, she felt it was partially her fault. Being a Lutheran, Cora understood guilt. She should have had the eye surgery years ago. She was deeply embarrassed by the thought of what her friends must think when they sat and drank coffee in a kitchen with egg-yolk colored walls. She assumed they'd been painted a nice off-white. Tasteful. Understated. Cora admitted to a certain pride about her home.

As she busied herself making a pot of coffee, she heard Kirby mutter again. When she turned around, she saw that he was standing now, his hands squeezing the back of the chair. "What did you say?"

He cleared his throat. "I said, I want a divorce."

She blinked. And then blinked again. "A what?"

"You heard me. I need passion in my life, Cora."

She turned her hearing aid up to high. "For God's sake, man, you're seventy-five years old."

"So?"

For the first time in years, she was speechless.

"I don't love you anymore. You can keep the house and the Chevy. I'll give you enough money to make sure you're comfortable. I just want my clothes and my truck. Oh, and my tools. You got no use for those."

"Kirby, what are you saying? You don't love me?"

"I'm not changing my mind."

For the second time this morning, she was dumbstruck.

The coffeemaker began to gurgle and groan, adding a kind of vulgar background music to the marital trauma. Kirby glared at it. "I'm goin down to the Prairie Lights Cafe to buy me a meat loaf sandwich. When I get back, I'm gonna pack my stuff. I don't want no scenes, Cora. Before I get old, I want to enjoy life a little. Kick up my heels."

"But Kirby--"