Tales from a Texas Christmas Tree Farm

by Darrell Bain
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Publish Date: November 30, 1999
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Overview

Every year millions of Christmas trees are purchased from choose-and-cut Christmas tree farms. When suburban families load up the kids, grandma, grandpa and all the pets and take off with a complete lack of knowledge of what they're getting into, you have all the ingredients for some hilarious stories.What could be so tough about planting and watching Christmas trees grow? That's what Darrell thought when he came up with the idea of getting rid of the long-horns and planting a forest. Join Darrell and Betty as they move to the country and find city and country cultures sometimes clash in unexpected ways:

- picture a toddler crawling into a tree baler and coming out wrapped up for Christmas...

- there's more than the scent of pine in the air when Darrell hires his nubile young niece to help the "boys" load cars in the parking lot...

- consider what happens when you introduce an enthusiastic Spanish-only speaking laborer to electric shears with instructions to just "take a little off the edges"...

- if you color-code the price stickers on the trees and your staff doesn't admit they're color-blind...

- and more than you ever thought you could possibly know about growing trees...

After twenty years in the business, Darrell looks back on this unique, demanding, exasperating, frustrating but ultimately rewarding profession -- the reward comes from the customers, especially the kids, as families search out that perfect tree. His stories are are heart-warming anecdotes, well-sprinkled with irony and down-home humor. A great, side-splitting laugh of a book you will enjoy reading any time of the year--and you'll never look at a Christmas tree the same way again!

If you're suffering from post-Christmas blues from too much red-and-green, these e-books full of humorous stories will tickle you pink.

These two volumes of misadventures could only happen to people who actually live on Santa Claus Lane - and own a Christmas tree farm - in Texas. On Santa Claus Lane we meet Darrell, a lazy, mechanically inept Husband who loves his hard-working but sometimes naive spouse. These stories and anecdotes are funny enough to make Al Gore laugh. |||This book is sold in the US by Sony Electronics Inc. |||This book is sold in Canada by Sony Electronics Inc.

Author Information

Darrell Bain

Over the last several years, Darrell Bain has become one of the top best selling authors in the world in the realm of electronic publishing. Most of Bain's books are also in print. He produces a monthly newsletter, discoursing on various subjects brought up by fans or by his own voracious reading habit, written in an informal, narrative style. It is available around the first of each month from his web site at www.darrellbain.com

Darrell is the author of more than two dozen books in many genres, running the gamut from humor to mystery and science fiction to non-fiction. For the last several years he has concentrated on science fiction and suspense/thrillers, with an occasional foray into humor and short stories. Some of his most memorable titles are The Sex Gates, Savage Survival, Alien Infection, The Melanin Apocalypse, Strange Valley, The Pet Plague trilogy and the Williard Brothers series.

Darrell served 13 years in the military and his two stints in Vietnam formed the basis for his first published novel, Medics Wild, and the sequels featuring the zany Williard brothers, where the latest book has brought them up to their present day exploits. Darrell has been writing off and on all his life but really got serious about it only after the advent of computers. He purchased his first one in 1989 and has been writing furiously ever since.

While Darrell was working as a lab manager at a hospital in Texas, he met his wife Betty. He trapped her under a mistletoe sprig and they were married a year later. Darrell and Betty operated a Christmas tree farm in East Texas for many years, which became the subject and backdrop for many of his humorous stories and books.

The Bain family consists of he and his wife Betty and their dachshunds, Tonto and Susie, along with Velcro the cat. They still live on the site of their Christmas tree farm, though it is no longer in business. Darrell is a full time writer now and Betty is retired. They spend most of their leisure time reading.

Mail to Darrell Bain can be addressed to him from his web site, www.darrellbain.com

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