It Gets Easier! . . and Other Lies We Tell New Mothers: A Fun, Practical Guide to Becoming a Mom

Preface


When I started this project, I was going to write what I

called the comprehensive guide for the new mother. The

book was going to cover all topics relating to motherhood:

pregnancy, labor and delivery, recovery, and surviving being

at home. I began writing this book when my firstborn son was a

baby. That was fourteen years ago. At that time I had looked for a

manual to help prepare me for motherhood and all that it entails. I

couldn't find it. Of course, these days there are thousands of books

available on the subject.


As I wrote mine, I tended to spend more time on some topics

than on others. It turned out that I wasn't interested in writing the

comprehensive guide after all. I felt that I had some great tips for

being in the hospital and tips for labor and delivery, but I seemed

to spend more time on what happens after you have a baby. As I

wrote more, I tended to write about the "motherhood experience,"

and specifically as it relates to women of my generation.


I do not presume to speak for all women. We each have different

thoughts and feelings regarding this experience we call motherhood.

The fact remains, though, that much about caring for babies

has not changed. Taking care of a baby these days is not very different

from taking care of one years ago. Taking care of school-aged

children is another matter; that is very different. The women of my

generation needed solutions -- and I realized that I wanted at least

some of those solutions to come from the women who've successfully

done this before us.


The "baby" topics I've covered are the ones that seem most

essential to me: scheduling, getting the baby to sleep through the

night, and dealing with the negative feelings about mothering that

so few people talk about. The other baby-related discussion topics

are all the nitty-gritty practical tips for the hospital and making it

through those first few months. These are all the tips I

wished I'd been fully equipped with before I ever made my first

trip to a delivery room.


This experience of motherhood can be a lonely one. Women

are afraid to broach many of the subjects on their minds for fear

of being labeled a "bad" mother. Feeding on demand. Negative

feelings about the new baby. Lack of sleep. Naptimes. Housework.

To work or not to work? It can all prove overwhelming.


What women today want the most, I believe, is answers.

This generation of mothers is so busy that they want to know

what works and they are not afraid to try new things. New

mothers want to flourish in their lives. Many may want to continue

in their careers. All certainly want to continue to look and

feel good, and they all want to continue to have good relationships

with their spouses. I felt women needed a few tried and

true tips and some direction to do more than survive this life

stage called motherhood.


In order to uncover these tips, I interviewed hundreds of

women and (some) men from the East Coast to the West Coast.

I asked questions of anyone who would talk to me -- friends

and friends of friends, neighbors, family members, my mother,

my mother-in-law, my mother's friends, women on playgrounds,

and strangers on planes. Their insights as well as my

personal experiences and research are in this book, along with

a dash of humor -- because we all know that humor can be that

spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down, even if it

is not easy.